Christie O'Mallaghan is a lonely and pathetic fishmonger, hated by everyone on the island of Connamarragagh for being a disgrace of a man — can’t fish, can’t swim, can’t

even drink. When Christie’s mother is struck down with a deadly case of St. Moira’s Bloat (contracted by

eating cheese made from her own breast milk), Christie learns that if he is unmarried at the time of her death, her soul will burn in hell. Christie sets off on a wild ride of suicide attempts, exploding hell-blisters, tentacle sex, and a musical promenade. Either Christie will rise above a life of disgrace and failure, or his mother will burn for eternity.